Facing Fear: A How-To Guide

Death_to_stock_photography_wild_6.jpg
deathtothestockphoto.com

At the end of this week, I’m getting on a plane home to Chicago for the holidays. I love going home – I am constantly missing my sisters, parents, friends, and old familiar suburban sights – but I hate getting there.

Having a fear of flying is pretty common. 20 – 30% of people get nervous about flying (which is somehow not as comforting as I wish it was). Further, 6.5% are so afraid of flying that they are entirely unable to get on a plane, and their fear can be classified as a genuine phobia.

I feel fortunate that I don’t have a true phobia of flying, though I do get very, very anxious about it. If you’re dealing with a true phobia of anything, I’d recommend finding a therapist who specializes in dealing with phobias, anxiety, and/or panic attacks. For readers who are not quite phobic but still driven totally nuts by situational anxiety, check out these tips for managing it:

Don’t be embarrassed.

Sometimes we have fears that are “normal,” like fears of flying or germs. And other times, we might have fears that don’t feel as normal. Someone close to me has a fear of vomiting, which is actually pretty common, but lots of people have no idea it exists. Whether you think your fear is “normal” or not, don’t make the mistake of being too ashamed to tell anyone. Keeping all that anxiety bottled up secretly will only make you feel worse. Support from family and friends might not be your cure, but it’ll sure be helpful. Also – there are 7 billion people in the world. I promise, you aren’t the only one with this fear.

Educate yourself with facts.

Compare and contrast your fears with the facts. Googling facts about flying has actually been so helpful. I learned all about how many planes take off in a day vs. how many of them get into accidents. I learned what turbulence was and why it isn’t as scary as it feels. I learned that you are more likely to die being stung by a bee than you are in an aviation accident! Reading up on facts and noticing how they didn’t at all correlate with my fears really helped ease my anxiety.

Focus on the big picture.

We’ve got one life to live! If you’re reading this blog, I’m guessing you’re interested in living your life to your fullest potential and becoming your best you. Fears hold us back from our full potential. It helps me to think about how sad I’d be if I didn’t get to do things that are important to me, like see my family or visit new parts of the world, just because I’m afraid. We all deserve better than limiting our potential because of our fears.

Make yourself comfortable.

When you finally decide to take the plunge and face that fear that makes your insides twist, find a way to make it as painless as possible. While you are confronting the fear (or preparing for it), listen to music you like. Treat yourself to a good meal. Call your best friend and get some support. For me, I learned that flying is much less scary if I distract myself with watching TV shows, so I always make sure to bring my fully charged computer loaded with videos onto the plane.

Maybe still get therapy.

Phobias, fears, and anxieties often don’t have a simple explanation. Sure, I’m afraid of flying. But why? What about it is so terrifying to me? Going to therapy can help you ask yourself deeper questions about the roots of your fears. Therapists often use cognitive-behavioral therapy with fearful clients. This helps the client begin to notice the irrational thoughts associated with her fears and replace them with more realistic ones. Treatment for fears and phobias might also include exposure therapy, which is the gradual exposure to a client’s fear while in a safe space moderated by a mental health professional. This could include things like watching videos of your fear, reading about your fear, or even slowly engaging with it yourself. Sounds super scary, I know, but if you find a therapist that you trust and are comfortable with, you can totally conquer this fear.

Do you have fears? How do you deal with them? Comment below!

Making a Meditation Corner

I have to start out this morning’s post about how to make a cozy little meditation corner with a confession: I no longer have this cozy meditation corner. I could probably have written this as if I did and no one would have called me out, but honesty is my curse and authenticity is my burden. This corner was photographed when I was living alone in Austin, but I love it a lot so I just have to give it a post on this blog. Maybe I will one day make another space like this in my Los Angeles apartment – I should, because I loved it – but for now, please enjoy with me the memory of my amazingly calming, warm-fuzzy-giving meditation corner, and check out the following key ingredients to making a meditation corner of your own.

Candles.

All the candles you can get your hands on. Especially the kinds with natural wood wicks that make a crackly fireplace-sound when you burn them. Mmmm. Be picky about the scents before you buy. Burning a candle that smells amazing to you will change the vibe of your room and can lighten your whole mood.

Incense.

More mood changing, scent-inspired happiness. Incense has a much stronger smell than candles you may be lighting, so I tend to only burn a mini stick once in a while and it’s enough for me. I like it most when I really want to intensely center myself and focus on something, like journaling. Also, super relaxing to watch the smoke dance up toward your ceiling. Take deep breaths and just watch.

Special objects that mean something to you.

My corner had a music box my boyfriend gave me as a memory of our perfect trip to San Francisco 4 years ago. I also had a bunch of shells I collected that I think are pretty.

Figures of inspiring leaders.

This is where my lil Buddha statue and my Buddha candleholder came into play. When I look at them, they bring me peace and remind me to breathe and to trust. Figures of Jesus or angels could also be inspiring for some. The figures don’t have to be religious, or if they are, you don’t have to follow the religion that they represent. Just collect little statues that inspire you in some way.

A meditation pillow.

This was gifted to me by my friend and I loved it. I had gone without one for a long time so I don’t think it’s necessary, especially if your corner is carpeted, but I love how it really puts me in the right frame of mind to have some quiet time, and I really like the slight elevation it gives. Somehow I feel like it makes me more open to the universe.

Wall decorations.

Wall decorations can be added and subtracted as the year goes on. My corner contained inspiring images, some artwork, and two collages I’ve made – one was just for fun and one is my vision board! Ahh I love my vision board. So fun to make and so inspiring to look at. Vision boards are a great way to remind yourself what you want and what you are working for.

Your meditation corner is your personal, sacred space – allow it to shift and shape itself naturally as you do more, think more, and collect more. Your values and perception of meaningful objects might change over time. Be open to that and accepting of it. Your meditation corner is unique to you and should be created with no intention of pleasing anyone but yourself.

What would you put in your meditation corner? Comment below! I love hearing ideas!

Thumbnail image by Susana Fernandez.

Making a Meditation Corner

meditation zen room corner

I have to start out this morning’s post about how to make a cozy little meditation corner with a confession: I no longer have this cozy meditation corner. I could probably have written this as if I did and no one would have called me out, but honesty is my curse and authenticity is my burden. This corner was photographed when I was living alone in Austin, but I love it a lot so I just have to give it a post on this blog. Maybe I will one day make another space like this in my Los Angeles apartment – I should, because I loved it – but for now, please enjoy with me the memory of my amazingly calming, warm-fuzzy-giving meditation corner, and check out the following key ingredients to making a meditation corner of your own.

Candles.

All the candles you can get your hands on. Especially the kinds with natural wood wicks that make a crackly fireplace-sound when you burn them. Mmmm. Be picky about the scents before you buy. Burning a candle that smells amazing to you will change the vibe of your room and can lighten your whole mood.

Incense.

More mood changing, scent-inspired happiness. Incense has a much stronger smell than candles you may be lighting, so I tend to only burn a mini stick once in a while and it’s enough for me. I like it most when I really want to intensely center myself and focus on something, like journaling. Also, super relaxing to watch the smoke dance up toward your ceiling. Take deep breaths and just watch.

Special objects that mean something to you.

My corner had a music box my boyfriend gave me as a memory of our perfect trip to San Francisco 4 years ago. I also had a bunch of shells I collected that I think are pretty.

Meditation zen room corner

Figures of inspiring leaders.

This is where my lil Buddha statue and my Buddha candleholder came into play. When I look at them, they bring me peace and remind me to breathe and to trust. Figures of Jesus or angels could also be inspiring for some. The figures don’t have to be religious, or if they are, you don’t have to follow the religion that they represent. Just collect little statues that inspire you in some way.

A meditation pillow.

This was gifted to me by my friend and I loved it. I had gone without one for a long time so I don’t think it’s necessary, especially if your corner is carpeted, but I love how it really puts me in the right frame of mind to have some quiet time, and I really like the slight elevation it gives. Somehow I feel like it makes me more open to the universe.

Wall decorations.

Wall decorations can be added and subtracted as the year goes on. My corner contained inspiring images, some artwork, and two collages I’ve made – one was just for fun and one is my vision board! Ahh I love my vision board. So fun to make and so inspiring to look at. Vision boards are a great way to remind yourself what you want and what you are working for.

Your meditation corner is your personal, sacred space – allow it to shift and shape itself naturally as you do more, think more, and collect more. Your values and perception of meaningful objects might change over time. Be open to that and accepting of it. Your meditation corner is unique to you and should be created with no intention of pleasing anyone but yourself.

What would you put in your meditation corner? Comment below! I love hearing ideas!

Shop for the Holidays (& Support Mental Health Along the Way!)

It’s the Season of Giving which is awesome, but that kinda also makes it the Season of Spending, which doesn’t always feel awesome. The good news is that there’s a way to give and spend and feel awesome about every part of it.

Below are some holiday gift ideas from strong, ambitious, and talented mental health advocates who are generously donating some (or all) of their profits to mental health causes around the world. This holiday season, why not kill two birds with one stone and give a loved one a gift that also supports mental health efforts?

(“Kill two birds with one stone” is a kind of malicious phrase, right? Should I change that to like, “double dip”? “Double Dip into your to-do list and shop for gifts while supporting mental health?” I feel like that doesn’t work but it’s nicer so let’s go with it.)

philosophy 

philosophy.com
philosophy.com

Mental health is my first passion and skincare is my second, so I was so excited to discover that philosophy, a luxurious skincare brand that can be found on their website or at Sephora, donates 1% of their profits to community based mental health organizations. For a big brand like philosophy, 1% can make a lot of money. They have a goal to provide direct mental health access and support to 1 million women in 5 years – let’s help them get there! I love their Purity Made Simple face wash and the Microdelivery Daily Exfoliating wash.

For more on how philosophy is helping the mental health cause, click here and here.

Eternal Essence Candle Company

www.eecandle.org/shop/calm
http://www.eecandle.org/shop/calm

I found out about this company through a write up on People Magazine’s website (yeah ok, I kind of love celebrity gossip…I know, I know…but hey, it brought me to this great mental health discovery sooo it’s totally fine). Eternal Essence Candle Company was started by Alexis Kauchick, a 17-year-old badass mental health advocate and entrepreneur who was affected by the deaths of mentally ill loved ones. 100% of profits for her handcrafted soy candles are donated to community programs that support a variety of mental illnesses. She has raised over $70,000 for mental health agencies by selling an incredible variety of candle scents. You’ll absolutely find one that fits your scent preferences. Let’s help her cause!

Wear Your Label

wearyourlabel.com
wearyourlabel.com

Wear Your Label is a Canadian organization that is working to break the stigma of mental illness through fashion. I absolutely love this idea – wearing your support for mental health loud and proud, sparking conversation about mental illness and emotional health. The organization partners with mental health agencies in Canada and elsewhere, contributing a portion of their proceeds to these organizations, but it also attacks the mental health cause by saturating our daily lives with fashion and accessories that raise awareness and create dialogue, which works to end the stigma of mental illness. My favorite part of their shop is The Bracelet Project, which “unites fighters, survivors, and supporters” of mental illness. Each bracelet (either threaded or gemstone) symbolizes support and awareness for a particular mental health challenge (depression, anxiety, ADHD, self-injury, and so many more) and 10% of proceeds go to their mental health partners.

I AM THAT GIRL collaboration with Bing Bang NYC

bingbangnyc.com
bingbangnyc.com

I AM THAT GIRL is a Los Angeles-based organization that focuses on the physical, emotional, and mental empowerment of girls everywhere. I am a new regular contributor for the I AM THAT GIRL blog, and I am so proud to contribute to such an awesome organization. Through local chapters and online initiatives, I AM THAT GIRL creates a connection between girls all over the world, encouraging support and love for one another, as well as a safe space to talk about tough stuff like mental illness. The organization collaborated with Bing Bang NYC to create a beautiful gold necklace, with 100% of the profits donated to I AM THAT GIRL programming. The necklace is made of 14k vermeil charms that symbolize balance, union, growth, and renewal, and a gorgeous Swarovski crystal. The “I AM” and “THAT GIRL” charms let you wear your support for the organization loud and proud.

What are your favorite shops or collaborations that benefit the mental health cause? I would LOVE to know! Comment below 🙂

Shop for the Holidays (& Support Mental Health Along the Way!)

HOLIDAY GIFTS

It’s the Season of Giving which is awesome, but that kinda also makes it the Season of Spending, which doesn’t always feel awesome. The good news is that there’s a way to give and spend and feel awesome about every part of it.

Below are some holiday gift ideas from strong, ambitious, and talented mental health advocates who are generously donating some (or all) of their profits to mental health causes around the world. This holiday season, why not kill two birds with one stone and give a loved one a gift that also supports mental health efforts?

(“Kill two birds with one stone” is a kind of malicious phrase, right? Should I change that to like, “double dip”? “Double Dip into your to-do list and shop for gifts while supporting mental health?” I feel like that doesn’t work but it’s nicer so let’s go with it.)

philosophy 

philosophy-skincare-mentalhealth

Mental health is my first passion and skincare is my second, so I was so excited to discover that philosophy, a luxurious skincare brand that can be found on their website or at Sephora, donates 1% of their profits to community based mental health organizations. For a big brand like philosophy, 1% can make a lot of money. They have a goal to provide direct mental health access and support to 1 million women in 5 years – let’s help them get there! I love their Purity Made Simple face wash and the Microdelivery Daily Exfoliating wash.

For more on how philosophy is helping the mental health cause, click here and here.

Eternal Essence Candle Company

eternal-essence-candle-co-calm.jpg
www.eecandle.org/shop/calm

I found out about this company through a write up on People Magazine’s website (yeah ok, I kind of love celebrity gossip…I know, I know…but hey, it brought me to this great mental health discovery sooo it’s totally fine). Eternal Essence Candle Company was started by Alexis Kauchick, a 17-year-old badass mental health advocate and entrepreneur who was affected by the deaths of mentally ill loved ones. 100% of profits for her handcrafted soy candles are donated to community programs that support a variety of mental illnesses. She has raised over $70,000 for mental health agencies by selling an incredible variety of candle scents. You’ll absolutely find one that fits your scent preferences. Let’s help her cause!

Wear Your Label

wear-your-label-mentalhealth-bracelets

Wear Your Label is a Canadian organization that is working to break the stigma of mental illness through fashion. I absolutely love this idea – wearing your support for mental health loud and proud, sparking conversation about mental illness and emotional health. The organization partners with mental health agencies in Canada and elsewhere, contributing a portion of their proceeds to these organizations, but it also attacks the mental health cause by saturating our daily lives with fashion and accessories that raise awareness and create dialogue, which works to end the stigma of mental illness. My favorite part of their shop is The Bracelet Project, which “unites fighters, survivors, and supporters” of mental illness. Each bracelet (either threaded or gemstone) symbolizes support and awareness for a particular mental health challenge (depression, anxiety, ADHD, self-injury, and so many more) and 10% of proceeds go to their mental health partners.

I AM THAT GIRL collaboration with Bing Bang NYC

1215 INSTYLE STILL LIFE LUCY FOX
www.bingbangnyc.com

I AM THAT GIRL is a Los Angeles-based organization that focuses on the physical, emotional, and mental empowerment of girls everywhere. I am a new regular contributor for the I AM THAT GIRL blog, and I am so proud to contribute to such an awesome organization. Through local chapters and online initiatives, I AM THAT GIRL creates a connection between girls all over the world, encouraging support and love for one another, as well as a safe space to talk about tough stuff like mental illness. The organization collaborated with Bing Bang NYC to create a beautiful gold necklace, with 100% of the profits donated to I AM THAT GIRL programming. The necklace is made of 14k vermeil charms that symbolize balance, union, growth, and renewal, and a gorgeous Swarovski crystal. The “I AM” and “THAT GIRL” charms let you wear your support for the organization loud and proud.

What are your favorite shops or collaborations that benefit the mental health cause? I would LOVE to know! Comment below 🙂

 

Putting Stress into Perspective

Good Morning & Happy Second Week of December!

AKA Good Morning & Happy Week-Where-Everything-Starts-Speeding-Up-And-I-Need-More-Coffee-And-It-Kinda-Hurts-To-Breathe-A-Little.

Or is that just me?

rekitanicole.com
rekitanicole.com

Until this year, early December was always Finals time for me, which basically meant I showered like three times a week and only ate microwaved meals and studied until my eyes burned. Now I’m graduated – which means I’ve graduated from Finals stress and into Holiday/End of the Year stress. I’m starting to think about all the things that I have to do before the holidays (and all of the money I’m going to spend doing it), all of the appointments I have to make when I am home visiting my family, and all of the things I want to achieve in the upcoming new year (which is fun, but also, stressful!).

I feel like I don’t need to write a post on what stress is or how stress affects you and blah blah blah. Cause if you are an actual existing human, you probably already know. You probably have experienced it many times. You probably could join the Facebook group I just started called Queens of Stress (just kidding, but maybe we could start a band with that name or something…I’m kind of an okay singer…thoughts??).

What I do want to write about, though, is a stress relieving technique that has been helpful to me. I’m hoping to write about more strategies like this in the future, cause there are so many things you can do to relieve stress and I think it’s kind of just about finding the one that works for you. This technique will be really helpful for those logical, rational thinkers.

It’s all about putting your stress into perspective.

So if you are totally freaking stressed right now, try this:

WRITE IT

Think about your top 4 stressors in this moment. Focus on the present day. What is gnawing at you in the background of your thoughts today? What’s making your insides feel tight? Write them down.

RANK IT

Next to each of your stressors, write down how much it’s stressing you out today, ranking it from 0 (no stress at all) to 10 (omg-I’m-freaking-out stress).

PREDICT IT

Now, think three years into the future. How much will your 4 stressors be affecting you in three years? Try to be specific and honest. In three years, how much stress will these stressors be giving you? Rank them each again, according to this idea.

Sometimes our stress gets so intense that it becomes entirely overwhelming…that spiraling feeling of our stress just burying us in anxiety. The point of this exercise is to step away from that for a moment and consider it all rationally – does it really matter as much as I think it does? Will I be okay three years in the future if I just accept this stress right now and let it float from my mind? Am I worrying about something that’s going to be, in the big picture, totally irrelevant one day?

The exercise will also help you prioritize attacking your to-do list. If one stress is ranked really high as bothering you right now and will also affect your future, you can channel most of your energy into trying to find a solution for that one stressor. Maybe even give the other stressors some breathing room while you figure out that first one.

How do you relieve your stress? I’d love to hear in the comments!

For more info on Facts about Stress, click here!

*This exercise was adapted from a worksheet I was given at one of my previous internships, and I can’t find the source for it! If you know, please email me at morningwellnessblog@gmail.com and I will update. Thanks!

Putting Stress into Perspective

busy-agenda-journal
rekitanicole.com

Good Morning & Happy Second Week of December!

AKA Good Morning & Happy Week-Where-Everything-Starts-Speeding-Up-And-I-Need-More-Coffee-And-It-Kinda-Hurts-To-Breathe-A-Little.

Or is that just me?

Until this year, early December was always Finals time for me, which basically meant I showered like three times a week and only ate microwaved meals and studied until my eyes burned. Now I’m graduated – which means I’ve graduated from Finals stress and into Holiday/End of the Year stress. I’m starting to think about all the things that I have to do before the holidays (and all of the money I’m going to spend doing it), all of the appointments I have to make when I am home visiting my family, and all of the things I want to achieve in the upcoming new year (which is fun, but also, stressful!).

I feel like I don’t need to write a post on what stress is or how stress affects you and blah blah blah. Cause if you are an actual existing human, you probably already know. You probably have experienced it many times. You probably could join the Facebook group I just started called Queens of Stress (just kidding, but maybe we could start a band with that name or something…I’m kind of an okay singer…thoughts??).

What I do want to write about, though, is a stress relieving technique that has been helpful to me. I’m hoping to write about more strategies like this in the future, cause there are so many things you can do to relieve stress and I think it’s kind of just about finding the one that works for you. This technique will be really helpful for those logical, rational thinkers.

It’s all about putting your stress into perspective.

So if you are totally freaking stressed right now, try this:

WRITE IT

Think about your top 4 stressors in this moment. Focus on the present day. What is gnawing at you in the background of your thoughts today? What’s making your insides feel tight? Write them down.

RANK IT

Next to each of your stressors, write down how much it’s stressing you out today, ranking it from 0 (no stress at all) to 10 (omg-I’m-freaking-out stress).

PREDICT IT

Now, think three years into the future. How much will your 4 stressors be affecting you in three years? Try to be specific and honest. In three years, how much stress will these stressors be giving you? Rank them each again, according to this idea.

Sometimes our stress gets so intense that it becomes entirely overwhelming…that spiraling feeling of our stress just burying us in anxiety. The point of this exercise is to step away from that for a moment and consider it all rationally – does it really matter as much as I think it does? Will I be okay three years in the future if I just accept this stress right now and let it float from my mind? Am I worrying about something that’s going to be, in the big picture, totally irrelevant one day?

The exercise will also help you prioritize attacking your to-do list. If one stress is ranked really high as bothering you right now and will also affect your future, you can channel most of your energy into trying to find a solution for that one stressor. Maybe even give the other stressors some breathing room while you figure out that first one.

How do you relieve your stress? I’d love to hear in the comments!

For more info on Facts about Stress, click here!

*This exercise was adapted from a worksheet I was given at one of my previous internships, and I can’t find the source for it! If you know, please email me at morningwellnessblog@gmail.com and I will update. Thanks!

Finding Your Creativity Through Your Inner Child

I’m living in that sweet spot in the middle of my 20’s – I’m old enough to have a Master’s degree and young enough to laugh at Spongebob. There’s such a pressure when you’re in your 20s to already know who you and how you identify yourself. But as we get older, this gets so much harder.

deathtothestockphoto.com
deathtothestockphoto.com

My 13 year-old-sister said the funniest thing about 2 years ago. She said that she’s known in her grade “for being the fastest typer and making the best double chin.” The hilarity of that combination aside, don’t you remember when it was that easy? In my grade in middle school, Kevin was the best basketball player. Katie rode horses. Molly was awesome at cool crafts. And that was it, it was that simple.

As we grow up, we identify ourselves in such different ways. When I meet someone I ask, “Where did you go to school? What do you do for a living?” And that becomes our identifier. Before I started this blog, I was talking with an acquaintance. He half-jokingly asked me, “So what do you like to do, like, in the world?” And I was truly horrified that I couldn’t think of a response. I do…my job? Phone calls? The Internet?? I realized that I had totally lost myself in the humdrum cycle of work, eat, sleep. And I remembered that it wasn’t always that way, not at all. I had a fire in me, a creativity unburdened by the plague of comparison and the fear of uncertainty. It was innocent and it was breezy and it was real.

Dedication to this blog and to myself is helping me get back to where I was. It’s reminding me to look back through my childhood. I’m remembering what I loved to do and how these things made me feel. I’m seeing how I can translate those into my adult life. I’m trying to release the fears that I associate with them. I wrote stories, drew pictures, designed clothes, made beaded bracelets, wrote songs, made up dances, sang, created a magazine, made foam stamps, scrapbooked, took pictures. I stopped doing almost all of these. Some of these things might not be practical or fulfilling to me anymore, but some might, and I miss the excitement and hope that I felt when expressing myself in these ways. I want this feeling back, and you might want it back too. I want us to get it. Let’s look inward and remember the little girls we were, with the big dreams and creative souls.

Finding Your Creativity Through Your Inner Child

DeathtoStock_CreativeSpace7 11.45.06 AM.jpg

I’m living in that sweet spot in the middle of my 20’s – I’m old enough to have a Master’s degree and young enough to laugh at Spongebob. There’s such a pressure when you’re in your 20s to already know who you and how you identify yourself. But as we get older, this gets so much harder.

My 13 year-old-sister said the funniest thing about 2 years ago. She said that she’s known in her grade “for being the fastest typer and making the best double chin.” The hilarity of that combination aside, don’t you remember when it was that easy? In my grade in middle school, Kevin was the best basketball player. Katie rode horses. Molly was awesome at cool crafts. And that was it, it was that simple.

As we grow up, we identify ourselves in such different ways. When I meet someone I ask, “Where did you go to school? What do you do for a living?” And that becomes our identifier. Before I started this blog, I was talking with an acquaintance. He half-jokingly asked me, “So what do you like to do, like, in the world?” And I was truly horrified that I couldn’t think of a response. I do…my job? Phone calls? The Internet?? I realized that I had totally lost myself in the humdrum cycle of work, eat, sleep. And I remembered that it wasn’t always that way, not at all. I had a fire in me, a creativity unburdened by the plague of comparison and the fear of uncertainty. It was innocent and it was breezy and it was real.

 

creativity-comparison

Dedication to this blog and to myself is helping me get back to where I was. It’s reminding me to look back through my childhood. I’m remembering what I loved to do and how these things made me feel. I’m seeing how I can translate those into my adult life. I’m trying to release the fears that I associate with them. I wrote stories, drew pictures, designed clothes, made beaded bracelets, wrote songs, made up dances, sang, created a magazine, made foam stamps, scrapbooked, took pictures. I stopped doing almost all of these. Some of these things might not be practical or fulfilling to me anymore, but some might, and I miss the excitement and hope that I felt when expressing myself in these ways. I want this feeling back, and you might want it back too. I want us to get it. Let’s look inward and remember the little girls we were, with the big dreams and creative souls.

Why It’s So Hard to Stay Creative

Remember when you were little – like, in Kindergarten – and it’d be time for art and you wouldn’t even think about it, you’d just finger paint the day away like a maniac? Then run up to your mom and proudly show her your masterpiece? (And maybe cry if she didn’t hang it up when you got home.)

deathtothestockphoto.com
deathtothestockphoto.com

And then, around the same time, you’d get told it was time for music class and like. Somebody grab the maracas. You knew what to do.

Maybe you noticed as you got older that this enthusiasm kind of stopped short. All the sudden music class is “lame.” You suddenly realize that you’re sitting next to a boy you can barely talk to cause you have a crush on him and like, what, now you’re supposed to sing in front of him??

And then art class…yeah, you’re okay at drawing a tree. You can make pretty good branches and you’ve got the little hole in the trunk with the squirrel in it. Aaaaand then you look over at the girl next to you who knows how to make like, textured tree bark and individual leaves building up this lush tree top. Um? How did you never notice that she could do that before??

Suddenly, we have begun comparing our talents to everyone around us. When we were little, we were so excited to just try new things, test our abilities, and find the next project that our mom or dad or teacher would tell us looks amazing. And they pretty much always did tell us we were amazing, even when our drawing of them had only stick legs and arms coming out of a round head. Like, we could entirely not draw a body on a picture of a human and people would tell us it was amazing.

Sometimes, we are lucky and we have parents and teachers and friends who continue to tell us that our art – music, drawing, writing, sewing, cooking, anything – is amazing. But as we get older, it’s natural to get more insecure. We start to believe they are lying to us. We start to believe they are just trying to make us feel good. We look at what our classmates and our friends and the girls on Instagram are doing and we compare our work with theirs, and we get down on ourselves.

This is normal. Don’t beat yourself up for beating yourself up. But let’s try to fight this feeling. Let’s try to look at another woman’s work and see the beauty in it….and then look at our work and see how that is also beautiful in its own unique way. Keep the spark of creativity alive in you. Keep practicing. Keep having fun with it. Keep doing it, just because you like it. You don’t have to show it to anyone if you don’t want, but give yourself a way of expressing yourself artistically. Don’t hide any part of yourself. Let your whole self shine.