Challenging Materialism

May 23, 2016January 6, 2018 ~ Lindsey ~ Leave a comment

Last night I spent a half hour or so scrolling through Instagram. Looking at pictures of my friends? No. Looking at inspiring art? Hell no. I was straight up devouring photos of potential new skincare purchases.

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:”Table Normal”;
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:””;
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:”Times New Roman”;
mso-fareast-language:JA;}

And the thoughts go like this:

I really want that serum. I see that so many people love it. But it’s so expensive! I’m sure it’s worth it. Oh shoot, and sunscreen! Definitely need to buy that before next weekend. My haircut this Sunday is already gonna be at least $65 but I obviously need that and also sunscreen. Dang, what am I even going to wear next weekend? All my shoes are horrible. I need new summer clothes. I could really use a new…

Blah blah blah literally could go on FOR LIFE if I don’t notice it and get a hold of myself. Sometimes I have to close my computer or shut off my phone and set it on the table next to me, vibrating with this energy of temptation, non-verbally begging me to pick it back up and keep shopping.

Here’s the thing: we want stuff. We want the things that products sell us – beauty, success, happiness, and a sense of interconnectedness with each other. We want what’s trendy so we can feel like part of the gang. If every cool girl on Tumblr is wearing strappy wedges, we wanna get strappy wedges too, because we want to be a part of it. We don’t want to feel left behind. And further, we want to spend our energy thinking about shoes because it’s a lot easier than thinking about the “real life” stress of our work, relationships, and intrinsic dissatisfaction.

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

We often search for a feeling of belonging and happiness in our possessions, but the truth is that we just don’t get it. Sure, we might feel a rush after making a purchase, but that isn’t sustainable. Research shows that materialism is associated with lower social and personal well-being, impulsive spending, increased debt, and even depression and social anxiety.

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

And in a way, having intense feelings of materialism is kind of like addiction, isn’t it? I’m in the midst of reading In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Dr. Gabor Maté, which is centered on Maté’s experience treating chronic drug users. One of the most interesting parts in the book so far though has been his dissection of his own impulsive spending (on classical music CDs! Which I thought was kind of cute) and how his constant yearning for more is relatable to an addiction.

“When you get right down to it,” he writes, “it’s the adrenaline I’m after, along with the precious reward chemicals that will flood my brain when I hold the new CD in hand, providing an all-too-temporary reprieve from the stress of my driven state. But I’ve barely left the store before the adrenaline starts pumping through my circulation again, my mind fixated on the next purchase.”

We have it in us to beat this cycle. It takes mindfulness and redirection.

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

1. Note the reason behind the feeling.

You’ve been on Pinterest pinning the crap out of images of home décor photos lately, and you just can’t stop thinking about all the new pieces you want to buy to glam up your apartment. These thoughts can come on quickly and go a mile a minute. Stop to consider them. Why are you spending so much time thinking about your shopping list? It might be that there’s something else you’re avoiding. It might be that you’re seeking external validation. It might be that you’re just bored. Recognizing the reason behind longing for possessions is helpful because it reminds us that, a lot of times, it’s about more than just really wanting to buy a new TV.

2. Shift your thoughts: what do you already have inside of you?

I love the quote from Gabor Maté because it reminds us that yearning for possessions is an endless cycle. Buddhist monk Sakyong Mipham said, “’Just one more’ is the binding factor in the circle of suffering.” Let’s try to stop needing more by honoring what we have inside of us. What can you create? Are you a writer? Shift your thoughts toward your next storyline. A photographer? Plan a weekend trip somewhere new to shoot. Take inventory of your talents and interests and make something. Get invested in it. Get so excited about it that you don’t want to think about anything else. It’s a way better adrenaline rush than buying a new video game.

Like everything else, fighting materialism relies on self-awareness. Know what’s going on with you. It’s not such a mystery if we take the time to think about it.

Thumbnail photo by ashleyelladesign,com.

Healing Our Creativity Scars

May 16, 2016January 6, 2018 ~ Lindsey ~ Leave a comment

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

It was 11am on a weekday and I was already feeling my motivation dwindle. My focused actions turned into mindless Twitter scrolling and my coffee was cold – sure signs that I was on the edge of surrender.

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

My inspiration savior came in the form of Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast, Magic Lessons. Fellow social worker (and career-crush) Brené Brown was featured on an episode in which she talked about her belief that “non-creative people” don’t exist – only people who do and do not use their creativity.

But then she said something that really shocked me. While researching shame, Brené Brown found that 85% of the people she interviewed remembered an event in school that was so shaming that it changed the way they thought of themselves for the rest of their lives. Among those individuals, 50% reported that those shame wounds were related to creativity.

As someone who has her fair share of difficulty with creativity, I wondered: do I have childhood “creativity scars”?

Almost immediately I remembered a shaming creativity memory from my childhood. I was attending a Fine Arts summer camp, where all of the campers were asked to choose a creative course to engage in – acting, painting, sewing, or singing – and our efforts would culminate in a theatre performance on the last day of camp. I loved to sing and write songs as a kid, so choosing the singing course seemed a natural fit. I still remember approaching the teacher when it was my turn to sing as she played one of my favorite songs, Hopelessly Devoted To You from Grease, at the piano. I was already completely terrified at the fact that I was there, singing alone in front of 20 other campers and a music teacher, making me completely and utterly mortified when she told me, “Don’t sing so breathy. Make your voice stronger.”

Did I take her advice? Did I toil away, day and night, to strengthen my vocal cords and eliminate my breathiness so I could have the most amazing musical performance in the history of this Fine Arts Camp for fourth grade girls?

Of course not. You know what I did? I left class that day, asked to be switched to the sewing class (which I didn’t even want to do), and canceled the plan that I had with my friends to sing a song in the end-of-camp talent show – a song that I wrote myself. I was so ashamed of my voice that I quit the singing course and I watched from the audience as my friends performed a song about best friends I had written for us all to sing together.

Looking back on this story, my heart hurts: it hurts for the kid version of myself (who should have been encouraged instead of critiqued), it hurts for the adult version of myself (who is still, on some deeper level, impacted by it), and it hurts for the 50% of you reading this who can clearly remember a creativity-shaming event similar to mine.

Brené’s interview inspired me to work toward healing my creativity scars – wounds rooted in the innocence of childhood and the susceptibility to believing anything an adult says.

So how can we heal our creativity scars?

First, we can think back on those childhood scars with our present, wiser minds. If you, as you are now, were in the room when the creativity-shaming event happened, what would you say to the child version of yourself? I know what I would have said: “It was so brave of you to come up here and sing. Look at the wonderful things you are capable of doing if you put yourself out there and do something that you love. You are doing such a great job.” Let yourself hear those words and believe them.

Next, we can take the plunge and engage in our creative side. This might be trying something – writing, drawing, painting, dancing – and keeping it private for a while. Feel what it’s like to be creative without anything to prove to anyone. Then, slowly challenge yourself to share your work with someone you love and trust. Feel the glow of being creatively supported.

Finally, let this creative rebirth remind you that you don’t need to worry about how “good” or “bad” your work is. You ARE creative. You CAN create. So don’t ask yourself if your creative work is good or bad; thank yourself for awakening the inherent creative spirit that has always been living inside you since you were a kid, waiting to see the light again.

Thumbnail photo from deathtothestockphoto.com.

Keeping a Journal

May 9, 2016January 6, 2018 ~ Lindsey ~ Leave a comment

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

I remember seeing a joke somewhere that a therapist’s go-to response for clients sharing any sort of life challenge is, “Have you tried journaling?” And here I am now, asking you (as a not-yet-licensed therapist but also as a pal)…have you tried journaling?

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

Keeping a journal has helped me in so many ways at different stages in my life. When I was a kid, it made me feel safe. I grew up with 6 million sisters (or: five) and having a journal was a comforting way to keep my private thoughts private. I wrote about how annoying my sisters were, how much I wanted to couple-skate with Cam at our school’s annual roller skating party, and shared all my secret embarrassing desires (like how I was excited to get my period one day. Can you imagine??).

In high school, on good days, my journal was a place to gush about every miniscule detail of every insignificant interaction I had with my crush. It was a place to spend way too much time sitting in the warm fuzzy feeling of interpreting the complexities of the way he said “See you later,” a place to dream about all the laters we could have together if everything went how I wanted. And my journal, on bad days, was ready and willing to be marked up with swear words and tear stains in accounts of an unpredictable life with an alcoholic parent. In a time of chaos, it was my rock – never judging, never prying.

My journal in college focused on dreams and wishes for the future. I wrote about my academic goals and daydreamed about creative pursuits that I promised I would get to someday (side note: I’d been slowly writing and planning for this blog for about a year before going live with it!). And now, post-college and post-grad school, my journal serves as a mechanism for my own personal exploration. The focus isn’t just on my dreams for the future, but also on how to better understand myself in the present. I write about events that shake me up and tease out the emotions behind it, exploring why these feelings showed up.

And on top of it all, I’ve noticed the awesome, awesome benefits of taking the time to be quiet, be present, and handwrite. I don’t think I’m over-the-top addicted to technology, but I will admit that I have been horrified at how quickly I instinctually pick up my phone to check Twitter after committing to writing. I didn’t even realize how much I needed to get away from my phone, computer, and TV until I noticed how hard it was to do. Journaling helps me disconnect and spend some time with myself. When was the last time you really did that?

So again, I ask you: Have you tried journaling? I came up with a few journaling topics – why not try it out?

Moving On From Those Kinds of Days

May 2, 2016January 6, 2018 ~ Lindsey ~ Leave a comment

This article was originally published for #AllTheVibes, a collaboration between I AM THAT GIRL and Biossance Skin Care. I really loved writing this because it gave me a chance to pass along practical tools for stress management that I’ve learned in my professional and personal studies. Let me know if you find any of these tips helpful in the comments!

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
JA
X-NONE

Some days, we could really use a reset button. We’re stressed out about a test, recovering from a painful breakup, or totally bummed about not making the volleyball team, and the whole day seems lost in bad feelings. Finding your way out of a rut can feel impossible – but the good news is that it isn’t. Here are some ideas about how to move on from those sucky days in a healthy way and be our own reset button.

· Repeat the mantra: I am enough.

Dealing with stress, heartache, or feelings of rejection can really affect our self-esteem. Close your eyes, put your hands over your heart, and say out loud, “I am enough.” Regardless of the test grade you get or your status as single or taken, you are worthy of love, just the way you are. Once you believe that, there is less reason to stress.

· Accept the situation.

Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do to change this situation?” If the answer is no, we need to learn to accept it. The poetry magazine came out and your poem wasn’t selected to be featured. Right now, you can’t do anything to change that. Accept that this is the situation in the present moment – but find peace in knowing you will have so many future opportunities to excel.

· Practice deep breathing.

When we’re stressed, our breathing quickens, our heart rate speeds up, and we start feeling like we had too much panic-flavored coffee. When we practice deep breathing using our diaphragm, a large muscle found at the base of our lungs, oxygen levels in our blood increase and our heart rate slows down, returning us to calm. Put one hand on your chest and another below your ribcage. Inhale through your nose, counting to 6. Feel your stomach expand as your lungs fill up with air, and feel your chest remain as still as possible. Exhale through your mouth, counting to 8.

· Visualize your worries floating away.

If you’re really hung up on a particular worry, try this visualization technique. Close your eyes and imagine that you are sitting beside a slow, steady river. As you watch the river, you notice a leaf on the water in the distance. Imagine that the leaf represents your worry. Watch it come closer toward you, floating on top of the clear, fresh water – and then watch the leaf pass by. Watch it float along the river into the distance, and notice it getting smaller and smaller until you can’t see it anymore. Like the leaf, imagine that your worry has floated off into the distance, becoming something that you can no longer see, hear, or feel. Let your worry disappear.

It can be tempting to sink into bad feelings, because it’s tricky to pull ourselves out of them. Shifting perspectives and choosing positivity is a powerful way to reshape even the worst of days, and we all have the tools inside of ourselves to do it.

	Lindsey Peters on Beating the Boring & Findi…
	Sarah on Beating the Boring & Findi…
	Lindsey on Finding What’s Worked fo…
	Lindsey on Finding What’s Worked fo…
	Lindsey on Asking Yourself The Miracle…

morning wellness

where mental health meets real life.

Month: May 2016

Challenging Materialism

1. Note the reason behind the feeling.

2. Shift your thoughts: what do you already have inside of you?

Healing Our Creativity Scars

So how can we heal our creativity scars?

Keeping a Journal

Moving On From Those Kinds of Days

· Repeat the mantra: I am enough.

· Accept the situation.

· Practice deep breathing.

· Visualize your worries floating away.